Marth's Journey to Cuteness
by Meg-sama
Summary: Marth thinks hes found the key to gettin' the ladies and takes a journey to get the chicks with three other smashers, but will they truley be happy with the solution?


This is a weird story, just to warn you. Sorry if its a bit of a long read ; And I guess it isn't **exactly** SSB, but it mostly is XD Sorry for the tense switches, I some the time have a problem with those and stuff so point them out if you'd like but I can't change them on this particular story with out deleting the whole thing.

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It was time for the ultimate showdown. Roy and I were ready to rumble. Everyone else thought it was for bragging rights; we knew this battle was more, much more. We had been vying for the same girl's attention for too long. This battle would decide who would drop out of the race and ultimately, get the girl. Her name? Peach… **Princess** Peach. The common misconception is that she's Mario's girl. Bzt-bzt, wrong! Mario is just a bad luck plumber with a good heart that got stuck in Mushroom Kingdom and got named the hero. Another misconception is the whole Bowser-Peach thing. He just kidnaps her for ransom money, its no wonder why either; have you **seen** how many kids he has? But, back to my story… 

Roy and I stepped out onto the field. We decided on Kirby's Dreamland, and to use nothing but our swords, like an old-timey duel. The fight was actually pretty quick. I got in a couple of good shots and the perfect times and Roy went flying within the first seven minutes.

Roy got first dibs at the medic station. Which is the loser's right unless Dr. Mario is your opponent. He got fixed up and I hesitantly went next. I never quite trusted Dr. Mario he always has those viruses running around and doing whatever they wanted. Before Dr. Mario even looked at me, I heard Peach's voice.

"Oh, you poor thing! I'll take care of you till your better!"

I spun around in shock, just in time to see Roy's triumphant face.

"Sorry, Marth, but your princess is in another castle." he mouthed at me before the door shut behind them.

I could have cried right then and there if Dr. Mario hadn't gruffly asked me if I 'Wanted those-a burns salved or-a not?'

I learned a valuable lesion that day. They always go for the short, cute ones. That's why Samus has Luigi and Zelda has Kirby and why Zelda's cousin, Sheik, has nobody. It was on that day that I swore I would get Peach back, no matter what! Even if she never wanted me in the first place, I would find a way to be short and cute. And these are my findings.

"So, where are you going on your weekend off, Marth?" Link nosily asked.

I hated him as a roomie, but since I hated Roy and he hated Child Link we had no choice. I thought about lying to Link and decided it wouldn't hurt to tell him the truth; he's really good at keeping secrets.

"I'm going to find out how to be short and cute, so all the ladies will love me."

"Can I come with?" Link said quickly after my explanation.

"W-why?" I warily asked.

"One, I have nothing better to do. And two, I'm tired of BEEPing Child Link getting all the attention." Link grumbled. (I censored him not out of concern of you, the reader, but for me because I don't like to write profanities. What's worse is that fairy of his that taught him is a hundred times worse.)

"Cant you just go back in time and be small?" I asked.

"No, if I go back I become him. It's really complicated." he answered

"Oh. Well, I guess you can." I responded, "We leave in the morning."

"Sweet." Link smiled, slightly nodding his golden head.

Typewriter Clicks

Friday:

We got up around 5:30 am/GC (GC stands for Gamecube time) and headed for the kitchen. While Link stuffed a bag full of drinks I stuffed a bag full of non-refrigerated foods.

"All set?' link asked quietly.

"Yah." I whispered back.

"Why are you guys being so sneaky?" a gruff voice said from the doorway.

"Augh!" Link and I shouted as the extra person turned on the overhead lights and blinded us. When I could see again, I looked at the intruder. It was Ganondorf. Despite his actually sweet disposition, his male pattern baldness usually turned the girls away. I decided to ask him to come along, if anyone deserved being cute it was Ganny.

"We're gonna find out how to be short and cute so all the ladies will love us." I explained.

"Wanna cooomme?" Link asked with a big grin.

"Well, I'm **supposed** to play tennis with Nana and Popo, but… let me go get my things!" Ganondorf answered. He bounded off, and we added some more food to accommodate.

"I heard everything, and I'm coming too." Mewtwo commanded teleporting out of no where.

"But why would you want to come?" Link asked, obviously confused. I swear I saw a blush on Mewtwo's face before he answered in a rehearsed tone:

"If I'm short and cute I'll look more like Mew, who I'm supposed to be the clone of."

"Alright, whatever." I mumbled, knowing that wasn't the reason. I found out who he liked later, but for safety's sake, I'm not going to write it here.

"Welcome aboard!" Link exclaimed.

The four of us set out around seven, and headed over to the pixel hills and deep into the square mountains. I choose this path only because I once heard the master hand 'talk' about the strange things that happen there.

"Why is this wooden mountain so quiet?" Mewtwo questioned.

"Prob'ly haunted or something like that." Link responded, "Marth, you're the head of this expedition, so you tell us."

"I'm informed that this is the forest Donkey Kong came from." I answered.

"Isn't he from a rainforest?" Link scoffed.

"Well, it certainly **looks** like a rainforest." Ganondorf pointed our.

And indeed, while we had been talking, the pines and fir trees had changed. Now there were monkeys howling and birds chirping. Even the way we looked was different, more…brightly colored. It was unnerving to stubble into another world without warning, but we moved on.

"So, what are we looking for here?" Link asked, his eyes wide, trying to absorb every detail.

"I'm not completely sure, but a medicine man or magician of some sort I suppose, maybe a mystical fountain?" I answered slowly, unsure.

"Well, there's a hut." Ganondorf pointed out, "Are we going to stop by?"

The hut was, to say the least, spooky. There were odd-looking pipes and all around scientific stuff protruding from its sides and roof; plus, when we got close a sudden storm flared up lightening and all. The resident of the strange hut was an elderly monkey, who had an eccentric gleam in his eyes.

"Who are you and why are ya in my hut?" the monkey angrily asked.

"Sorry to bother you, uh, sir." I quickly blurted out, too quickly.

"You're a suspicious bunch." he said rather loudly, "Not from around these parts, hm?"

"No sir." I answered. The wrinkled monkey brought us inside, which was filled with the same stuff you find in mad scientist's labs.

"Well, what brings you to Kranky Kong's hut?" he asked, turning his back to us and messing with something boiling on a hot plate.

"We want to be cute." I boldly responded.

"I don't understand. You human-like ones have the best faces I've seen on your sort." Mr. Kranky said almost crossly (and in a way that gave me the chills), "And you, what ever **you** are," he indicated Mewtwo, "seem perfectly acceptable."

"But we're not **cute**." Link added.

"Please explain." Kranky demanded, stirring a flask of bright green liquid.

"W-well…" I stuttered. The words 'we want to be shorter so the ladies will flock to us' seemed very strange at the moment. Ganondorf spoke up for us.

"You know how girls like cute, cuddly things to squeeze?" he started.

"…Yes." Kranky agreed after some thought.

"Well, **we** want to be those squeezed things." Ganny explained.

Kranky looked us over. "I understand." he said like he was giving us his condolences, "I have something that just might to the trick."

"Really?" I eagerly asked, "What's your price?"

"Free." the old monkey grinned, "Just drink the stuff and leave me alone."

I spent no time agreeing with the prime ape, a mistake I'll never make again. The stuff smelled disgusting and tasted even worse, but it was pink; I took that as a good sign and plugged my nose as I downed it.

"I sure hope none of us are allergic to any of the ingredients." Mewtwo decided to comment **after** we had all guzzled the goopy potion.

I didn't feel and different.

"Ganondorf! Y-your hair!" Link shouted. We watched in amazement as his receding hair line receded backwards, until Ganny had a normal looking head of hair.

"What? What happened?" Ganny questioned in alarm. Slowly, he reached towards his head. His eyes widening in surprise his fingers met with his new locks flopping over his forehead.

"Bun none of the rest of us were going ba- HOLY BEEP!!!!!" Link screamed, "Marth what's wrong with your face?"

"What's wrong with your ears?" I asked Link at the same time.

"What's wrong with my tail!?!" Mewtwo frantically pleaded.

In minutes, I had a full, blue beard; Link's ears had a layer of soft, blond hair around their edges; and Mewtwo's tail had a carpet of crinkly, purple hair, the same color of his skin. The three of us rounded on the monkey (Ganondorf was too busy playing with his hair to notice).

"What the BEEP?" Link screeched, "Now we're even weirder looking!"

I never considered myself weird looking in the first place, but…

"Well, I needed to test my new hair-growth formula and women like fuzzy things." he answered calmly, as if he was yelled at many times about his strange potions.

"But your hair grew in abnormally." Mewtwo observed, shaking his tail accusingly at the ape.

"I'm sure if you drink more, it'll grow in every where eventually." Kranky assured us.

Link looked horrified and Mewtwo's feed touched the ground. I was finally able to close my mouth when Ganondorf spoke up.

"I don't think that would be the right look for us."

"Well, I'm sorry I couldn't have been of help." Kranky Kong sighed.

"You helped me out **a lot**, doc. I'll be back when it starts to wear off!" Ganny shouted cheerfully as we left. He was the only satisfied one.

"Now what are we going to do?" Link asked mournfully, playing with the tufts of hair at the ends of his ears.

"Shave, never speak of this again, and hope for better luck tomorrow." I determinedly suggested.

"This journey is ill fated." Mewtwo warned, staring off into space and petting this tail.

Saturday:

In the morning I was the only still with unwanted effects of the potion. My bottle must have been slightly stronger because I had stubble when I woke.

"Were we off to next?" Link asked cheerfully through a mouth full of breakfast.

Everyone was happy that morning; either glad the hair didn't return or glad it didn't disappear.

"Over the mountain." I simply answered.

"What's over the mountain?" Ganondorf asked, slicking his hair back with gel.

"Some call it paradise, and some call in hell." I answered.

"Strange." Mewtwo pondered 'aloud.'

"Exactly why I planned to go there!" I smiled.

Since we were half-way up the mountain yesterday, the hardest part was going over the peak; there were these strange bears in swimming trunks that kept attacking us. Once the snow cleared, a lush and diverse valley opened up before us.

"It seems like paradise form here." Link commented.

"Fool!" Mewtwo cried out, "Now you've jinxed it!"

"I didn't know you were so superstitious." Link teased the cat-like pokemon.

"At least I'm cautious and think before I open my mouth." Mewtwo restored, his tail flicking angrily.

"What? You don't even use your mouth when you talk." Link shot back.

"Guys! Please, fighting won't get us anywhere." Ganondorf stood between them, "Marth, some help?"

But I wasn't worried about their fight; I was worried about the rumbling.

"I think an earthquake is coming." I warned as the ground started to shake. The rumbling got louder, and the ground began to shake more violently; everyone but Mewtwo was having a hard time keeping their balance. That's when I heard it, one of the most distinct sounds in all of history.

"Yoshi!"

And they were upon us. Yoshis of every size, shape, and color; speaking all at once.

"Yoshi!"

"Yoshi?"

"Y-yoshi…"

"Yo!"

"Yoshi-shi-shi-shi!!!!!!"

"Yosh."

We were dumbfounded.

"A-anybody speak Yoshi?" I asked hesitantly.

"No exactly in the curriculum in Hyrule." Link remarked, while Ganny shrugged.

"I usually just pretend I know what our Yoshi is saying." Mewtwo admitted.

A hushed silence had fallen over the crowd of dinosaur-like natives.

"Well, they expect us to say something." I said in a panicked tone while keeping a fake grin on my face.

"Don't worry, I understand you." a voice came from the back of the crowd.

The rest of the Yoshis parted, and a green Yoshi walked toward us. I could tell this guy was importantly by the way the other Yoshi bowed their heads as he passed by.

"I am Green the first." he introduced himself, "I was the fist Yoshi the freedom-bringer Mario Mario rode."

"Wow, your old." Link blurted out, and received a swift kick to the ankle from myself.

"We are honored by your presence." Mewtwo bowed.

"No, it is us who is honored by you. We haven't had visitors for a long time. Not since a giant human hand came and stole or only color-changing Yoshi." Green I explained, not with out a dash of bitterness.

"Oh. Master Hand. He stole us, too." Mewtwo added spitefully.

"Yet you walk free?" the wise Yoshi asked, puzzled.

"We have weekends off, occasionally." I told him.

"Well, then, let's not waste your time standing around here." the Yoshi said before turning to the crowd and shouting, "Yoshi!"

His comment was met with thunderous cheers as the crowd shoved its way towards us. We were swept from our feet and made to ride the Yoshis where ever they pleased. Mewtwo, coming from a long lineage of enslaved pokemon refused to let the Yoshi carry him like they were beasts of burden and flew above them instead. This caused much awe and admiration in his direction, besides the amazement that he didn't look very human.

"So," the Yoshi elder smiled once we were all comfily sitting in his hut, "Why have you traveled here?"

"Actually, it's kind of strange." I started, "We're looking for a way to be cute."

I decided to just go for the direct approach.

"Like us Yoshis?" Green the first asked.

I stared at him and noticed his shot stature, chubby cheeks, and big eyes.

"Yes." I answered.

"That is a simple task!" the Yoshi laughed.

"R-really?" Ganondorf gaped.

"That comes later, first, we feast!"

The meal was big and good, but it dragged on and on. I was afraid we wouldn't have time to see what the Green Yoshi meant before we had to head back to the Smash Bothers grounds.

"My friends are you full and ready to see our magic-user Yoshi?" the elderly green Yoshi finally asked.

"Yes." I shouted, as we all jumped up from our seats.

The magic Yoshi's hut was on the edge of town where no other Yoshi lived. There were no windows, and a thick bolt of fabric served as a door. The Yoshi herself was black as pitch with a deep red underbelly.

"Yoshi." she greeted us in a rich, silky voice.

"Yoshi." Green responded, "Yoshi, yoshi yoshi yoshi."

The female Yoshi turned her gaze to us. I was able to give her a weak smile. This was moving in a strange direction. She turned back to Green and uttered, "Yoshi."

"So we stand in these circles and she works her magic and that's it." Link asked again.

"Yes, yes!" Green the first answered cheerfully.

"We won't get our brains fried?" Link continued.

"No."

"Go blind?"

"Nope."

"Have our-"

"Link!" I shouted, "We have to get this over with if we want to get back by tomorrow."

"Fine, lets get this over with."

The black Yoshi stood before us and started to chant.

"Yoshi yo yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yo yoshi."

Slowly, her words started to make sense.

"Yoshi them yoshi yoshi yoshi change them yoshi."

"Change them shape and yoshi change them now."

"Change them shape and kind change them now.

The magic user gave us a triumphant smile, "All done."

I didn't feel any different, just like with the potion, but I did seem shorter. I turned my head and saw a purple yoshi next to me; quickly, I turned my head the other way and saw a green yoshi wearing a green hat.

"Yooooooshiiiii!" I screamed in alarm. The green Link-Yoshi turned my way.

"Yoshi yo yosh?" he muttered, which I understood as: "What the BEEP?"

"You are like us now. That is what you wanted, no?" the Yoshi leader asked.  
"We didn't mean exactly!" Yoshi-Link hysterically shouted. (I'm just going to directly translate the yoshis from here).

"We meant short and cute forms of ourselves." Mewtwo explained a little too late.

"You didn't say that." the old, green Yoshi pointed out.

"My arms are really short." Ganonoshi commented.

"Does that mean you want her to change you back?" the elder asked, pointing at the black Yoshi.

"Yes, please. Sorry for the trouble." I said politely.

"I'm sorry. I can't." the female Yoshi calmly answered.

"WHAT?!?" all four of us gasped, simultaneously having panic attacks.

"Not until tomorrow any way." she added, "My magic only works once a day on any one person."

"That means you are staying the night!" Green the fist happily concluded, "Come, the night is growing late!"

Sunday:

We woke late. The night before we decided to take what ever punishment Master Hand had coming for being late just for more sleep.

"It's weird having so short a tail." Mewtwo stated as we walked to breakfast.

"It's weird having a tail period." link said.

Sad to say, everyone (besides Mewtwo) were bumping our tails against everything. It was like having a branch stuck to your buttocks. Although I have to say the weirdest part for me was eating. Our arms were too short to grab things with, so we had to use our tongues, and we weren't very good at aiming; the giggling was **so** embarrassing! After the meal we went and saw the black Yoshi.

"Are you sure you want to change back?" Green I asked.

We all nodded vigorously.

"Alright." he conceded sadly.

There was a flash of light and we were back to normal.

"You need to leave now?" the green Yoshi asked.

"Yes, but thank you for your hospitality." I thanked him while we all bowed.

"I hope we can make it home on time." Ganondorf gloomily mentioned.

"We have something that will get you there zoom zoom." the wizened Yoshi offered.

"Really?" Link asked hopefully.

The Yoshis brought out a hot-air balloon.

"As long as you bring it back as soon as possible." Yoshi Green said.

"Of course!" Mewtwo nodded.

It was early afternoon by the time we climbed aboard the balloon's basket.

"Last thing." the Yoshi leader called out to us, "You don't need new looks. What you lack is confidence."

To tell the truth, that made me mad. "What?" I huffed, "**Courage**? That is something none of us lack!" I seethed as Mewtwo navigated the balloon home. "We are warriors, fighters, some of us royalty, we are MEN!"

But slowly I realized the truth in the old Yoshi's words.

"Hey guys…" I started, "When was the last time any of us actually talked to a girl before she talked to us?"

My question was met by silence. We all knew exactly how courageous we were.

Thanks to the Yoshi's balloon, which our Yoshi took back the next free weekend, we made it home in time for dinner.

"Were did you guys go?" we were questioned over and over.

"Oh, around." we always slyly answered.

Needless to say, I tried out Yoshi's method of courage.

"Peach." I said the very same evening before bed, "Will you go out with me the next vacation weekend?"

"Wow Marth, I didn't know you liked me." she blushed (a beautiful sight I might add); "Pick me up at 8?"

I nodded enthusiastically and gave a big, dorky smile. From across the hall Roy glared.

"The princess seems to be in my castle after all." I mouthed before striding out.

So, by research has found it. Courage is what the ladies love. Four healthy relationships prove it, as well as several 'cute' ones being dumped.

-Marth

Plus, it doesn't hurt to have a full head of hair!

-Ganondorf

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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL, sorry but I like the end of this story cuz Ganny is so craz-a. Please leave comments so I can die happy! Or not die and be happy... 


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